


Seventeen

by freakazoid



Series: Earth 3 [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Arguments, Discussions of Underage, Earth-3, Fluff, M/M, Swearing, fourteen words shy of a drabble, i wrote this at 12 am and thought it was the height of comedy, references to past underage (different pairing)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakazoid/pseuds/freakazoid
Summary: Jason fights with his sugar daddy-slash-boyfriend.





	Seventeen

**Author's Note:**

> fyi, earth 3 is a world where the villains are heroes and vice-versa - Roman is a hero, and Jason is a villain-turned hero (kind of). earth 3's bruce is named thomas, and moonlights as Owlman.  
> i fucking love earth 3

            “Are you fucking kidding me?” Jason demands.

            Roman rubs circles on his temples. “Seriously, kid—”

            “Roman, I am _not_ a kid.”

            Roman waves his arms around. “Hello? You’re seventeen? Which, somehow you _just_ managed to tell me?”

            “Age is just a number,” Jason tells him petulantly. “I’ve killed people! I died, for god’s sake! I think I’m mature enough to, I don’t know, decide where I want to put my dick—”

            “Look, ki—Look, Jason, a man’s got to have principles, right? I’m supposed to be heroic and shit! I can’t go around committing _statutory rape_ —” _No matter how much I might want to._ Roman adds mentally. _Damn, that sounded bad._

            “God, seriously, I can’t believe you care about this stuff!”

            “I can’t believe you don’t!” Roman snaps. “I’m trying to run a company, I can’t do whatever the fuck I want—”

            “Why not?”

            “There’s PR and, you know, the fucking law?”

            “Never stopped Thomas,” Jason grumbles, because he knows for a fact Thomas has been fucking Richard since he was at _least_ sixteen.

            Roman’s face goes stormy. “Don’t you ever, ever, compare me to that sociopathic _maniac_ —”

            “I’m not _comparing_ , I’m just _saying_ —”

            “Do I look like a police-bribing, child-molesting, people-murdering freak to you?”

            “Well, no, but—”

            “So don’t act like I am, for chrissakes! We all have principles! You’ve got principles! I’ve got principles! Even Jackie’s got principles! And, you know what? I think that _not fucking children_ is a pretty fucking good principle, as principles go!” Roman waves his arms for emphasis.

            “I’m _seventeen_ , I’m not a _child_. Don’t worry, you won’t automatically grow a creepy moustache and start driving around white vans and giving candy to—”

            “That is _absolutely_ not the fucking point, can you just—”

            “—toddlers if you let me go down on you _one time_.”

            “—fucking listen to me for one fucking second you immature jackass!”

            They glare at each other. Roman crosses his arms. Jason slowly starts to unbutton his shirt.

            “Nope! NO! None of that!” Roman covers his eyes with one hand and waves his other in Jason’s face.

            “Aww, c’mon.” Jason tries to smirk sexily but his buttons aren’t cooperating. “Don’t be like that, Roman. It’ll be fine—”  
            “If you insist on behaving like a fucking bonobo then you can go sleep on Eddie’s couch!”

            Jason stops fiddling with his shirt. “Hey, that’s not funny.”

            Roman peeks through his fingers. “I’m not kidding! I’ll call security and have them escort you out of the penthouse!”

            “I’m sure they’ll be very interested to know what a seventeen-year-old is doing in your private suite—”

            “Oh, see? Now you’re just proving my point! You could ruin my reputation!”

            “But I won’t!” Jason says. “Because I like your suite. Also, you’re hot.” He winks.

            “I’m aware,” Roman replies dryly. A pause. “Please button up your shirt.”

            “Oh no, is the jailbait tempting you?” Roman reaches meaningfully for his phone. “Okay, okay, I’m doing it!”

            “Thank you,” Roman says. He rubs his temples. “I think I’m getting a headache.”  
            “You’re always getting a headache.”

            “Only when you’re around,” Roman grumbles.


End file.
